S.V. Narine's Los Angeles Dodgers fan blog

I’ve suffered through the indignation if watching Andruw Jones strike out more times than the “Star Wars kid” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU) at Pure nightclub ( www.purethenightclub.com), and I resigned myself to the idea that he would rather pile ribs on home plate than swing a bat over it. I am completely comfortable with this idea. He’s earned every piece of hate that has rained upon his head. Then what does he do? He smokes a single to actually drive in a run! Miracles can happen! So of course, due to having the “attention span of a boiled potato”, myself as well as thousands of drunkards at Doyer Stadium told ourselves, “This is when he’ll break out of his zero for infinity slump”. Never mind that he looked just as terrible swinging at that slider as he has swinging at every other pitch this year (i.e. belly swings first and then the bat), and if that pitch was anywhere but accidentally right down the middle, his whiff would be at epic proportions to the likes of Casey ( http://ops.tamu.edu/x075bb/poems/casey.html). We had hopes. Andruw was up in the 9th inning. The Doyers down by one. Time for the slump to end. Here’s the pitch…High drive, deep to right field…Wait, I was watching Kirk Gibson’s homerun again. Of course Andruw struck out with a chance to do some damage, and of course the Doyers lost with a chance to tie Arizona for first place in what is the saddest race since Steven Hawking challenged Christopher Reeve to a 3 yard dash.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.29.08: Casey Blake, and more Issues"

I disappear for a few days and suddenly the Dodgers become the most powerful offensive team since I traded for Albert Pujols and David Ortiz in my MLB 06: The Show?? After beating the D-Backs (or “Goo Backs" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORAyORWRAA as I prefer to call ‘em) in the opening game, which was as exciting as Andruw Jones is fat and useless, 8-7, the Dodgers came back to stink up the joint down 3-0 in the 9th of game two. The proceeded to score 2 runs and NEARLY tie it in the 9th. For once you can’t blame Andruw, as he managed to walk, no matter how hard it is on his knees to carry that keg of a body. Moral victory for the Blue I would say!

Game 3 was even more exciting than the first time you discovered the opposite sex, as the Doyers scored 5 runs in the top of the 9th, capped thankfully by a Russell Martin RBI single that would have led to a blown save by Broxton (filling in for Saito, giving fans a glimpse of next year possibly).

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.22.08: Who am I watching? The Angels?"

I watched the All Star game last night. 15 innings. It was at times boring, at times exciting, and for the most part, it reminded me of the Dodgers. With the exception of great defense and you know, having more than one “honorary” all-star on the team. Pitching, at least on the National League side of things, hasn’t been at a premium the last few years at the game, but this year, the NL pitched like a group of Saitos, Broxtons, and Wades. Runners remained stranded, even though the NL was in constant trouble in the late innings. Both teams hit like the Dodgers, constantly getting on base with nobody out, and then being left exactly where they were. The biggest threat being if an opposing batter ever tried to, I don’t know, not swing at every pitch (where was this Aaron Cook in the world series last year?) thrown in their direction. Dan Uggla (whose name sounds like the reaction you have when you step in something of solid and liquid form) struck out 3 times in 4 at-bats and was the Matt Kemp/Andruw Jones of the game. Russel Martin played the Russell Martin roll, coincidentally, but seemed to play it as if he was amped up on something, with the defensive abilities of a superman out there. It was so noticeable that Tim McCarver and Joe Buck spent a good 20 min “Alyssa Milano-ing” him (verbally of course). The prowess of Russell Martin on his knees was extolled by them for all to hear. I also worry that he was pumped to actually play with good players, and this gave him a taste of what it is like to play with players who are actually quite awesome. Unfortunately, there was nobody old or crotchety, enough to play the Jeff Kent roll, but you take comparisons where you can get them.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.16.08: THE ALL STAR GAME AND A SERIOUS DODGER PLEA"

The Dodgers chock full off their season of mediocrity (wait, you mean the season is still going on?) passed on CC Sabathia. According to multiple sources (including Ken Rosenthal http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8328148/Notebook:-Will-Dodgers-ever-make-a-move??CMP=OTC-K9B140813162&ATT=3498) the ace pitcher could have been had for middling prospects that were not contributing at the major league level. Granted this is all here-say, but it is a rumor for a reason, and the big problem here was not Ned Colletti (for once). It seems as if frank McCourt vetoed the trade for strictly financial reasons as the Dodger payroll would have increased by $7-9 million this year with the addition of Sabathia, Jamey Carroll and Casey Blake had the trade gone through. I don’t even know where to start with this. This is the same moron who tosses $19 million to Andruw Jones, $16 million to Jason Schmitt, $9.5 million to Nomar Garciaparra and he is terrified of a trade that would increase payroll by $9 million? Granted he would have tried to sign CC to an extension and what not (and that would be about $25 million/year), but this is for the best pitcher in the game, not to mention a platoon player (who can play short) and a 3rd basemen. Everything the Dodgers wanted all in a package, and he vetoes it. It’s go to mean something when other teams won’t take on any of your high paid players because all of your high paid players are broken down and useless. So instead of moving towards a winning franchise, McCourt seems to love to meddle in mediocrity because we are dumb enough to keep going to games and to watch a bunch of turds in Dodger Blue “play baseball”. The best part of this trade was that we would keep ALL The high end prospects and could unload all the crappy players (Schmitt, Lowe, Nomar, Andruw, Kent) after next season and it would all be good. We are not a small market team, but apparently that is how the owner sees it. He is ready to try and turn Dodger stadium into a revenue service year round with his renovations and he is willing to increase prices to watch crap on the field but unwilling to make any moves of consequence to make the team actually look professional.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.10.08: Dodgers Fail"

On the heels of the poor Clippers being spurned by Elton Brand (more on that in the coming days) in hilarious fashing, the Lakers seem to have been hit just as hard. Word on the proverbial street (or more likely, on the off ramp of the information super highway) is that Ronny Turiaf has agreed, tentatively to play for the Golden State Warriors for $17 million over 4 years ( http://www.pe.com/sports/basketball/breakout/stories/PE_Sports_Local_S_turiaf_09.47b3657.html). What do I think about this, you ask? Good question, you. I get the same feeling that I got when Golden State signed Derek Fisher for $37 million over 6 years, and that is that Golden State has NO idea how to properly run a team. I loved Ronny on the Lakers. I loved making jokes with my friend about Phil Jackson yelling at Ronny at practice claiming that he “has no heart”, along with 4 billion other heart related comments (for those of you who don’t know, Ronny was diagnosed with an enlarged aortic root and required open heart surgery at the beginning of the 2005 NBA season). It does bother me slightly, that the Lakers had a chance to dump Ronny over this heart condition but chose to stick with it, pay his salary AND cover the expenses for his surgery, and he goes his own way once he is a restricted free agent. I know he must look out for himself, but it always bothers me with loyalty is thrown by the wayside.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.09.08: Lakers the New Clippers?"

The C.C. Sabathia deal is dead. The proposed deal that would have seen the Dodgers send Matt Kemp, James Loney, Andy LaRoche, Andre Ethier, Chad Billingsley, Clayton Kershw, Vladamir Guerrero, the letter “L”’ from the Hollywood sign (the one on the left, not the one on the right), Kobe Bryant, and DJ Mbenga to the Indians for C.C. and Casey Blake is no more. The Brewers, in a possible drunken haze traded four minor leaguers (including the perpetually well traveled “player to be named later”) in what appears to be a great move for the Brew Crew. They have no interest in keeping C.C. outside of this year if it is going to cost them a lot (and it likely will) so they will be able to pick up a couple of draft picks from the next team that signs him, and get to use the skills of a man in a contract year who is trying to make a good impression on any team that’s courting him. Smart move by the Brewers that is pretty much win, win. The Indians got a good package, but one has to wonder what they could have fleeced from the Dodgers if their deal went through. My exaggeration from the top is probably not too far off.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.07.08: FIRE NED COLLETTI"

On the eve of the Dodgers playing the Giants a few hours from now, and the NBA turning on it’s head with constant movements, I find myself watching: The 2008 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship. I always seem to catch myself watching this every year, totally disgusted with what I’m watching and with myself for being so interested. This is one of the reasons the rest of the world hates what America stands for. Gluttony. People are eating more hot dogs in 12 minutes than the rest of the world sees in their entire lifetime. ESPN tries to make this a legitimate “sporting” event like rock, paper, scissors tournament, but generally people don’t buy it. Not even the “athletes” believe themselves to be partaking in anything but a gorge-fest.

Continue reading "If the Season Ended Today 07.04.08 4th of July Weekend Madness!"

First things first, the Dodgers won a game against the American League! Not only that, but it was a complete game shut out by “blink and you’ll miss him” starter Eric Stultz, who is making Brad Penny, Hiroki Koruda, and Jason Schmidt look as worthless as their arms (in all fairness, Koruda is pretty much EXACTLY what the Dodgers and fans expected him to be). Without knowing when or how the Dodgers will win again, considering that this team is as inconsistent as an Tommy Lasorda’s bowel movements, I spend today rejoicing as the Dodgers are now 2-6 against the American League and the National League is a combined 12-infinity against AL as well. While it feels that there has been a dominance of the AL over the NL has been progressively consistent since the new millennium, although the exact opposite is true with the NL posting a 1,104-1095 record over the AL. Since the 2005 season however, the AL hold the advantage with a 292-213 advantage. Never is it more clear in any sport that baseball is held pretty strictly to the “law of large numbers”.

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 06.26.08: Dodgers and the law of mediocrity"

Hot of the presses comes word of Nomar Garciaparra (my FAVORITE Dodger) being diagnosed with a gene problem that causes him to heal slower than a normal man. Who is this guy the ANTI-Wolverine ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healing_factor)? That has seriously got to be the worst mutant power of all time, but the funniest part of all of this is that he has been diagnosed by his PHYSICAL THERAPIST. These guys aren’t doctors! Nothing against physical therapists, but really, Nomar is more disabled than Lt. Dan ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109830/) and has spent more time on the disabled list than the Raiders have been an embarrassment, and it took them this long to find out that he has the skeletal structure composed of Faberge egg? I like Nomar as a person, as he seems like a cool guy and it must be incredibly frustrating losing so many years to injury, but man, if I was the Dodgers, I would be greatly annoyed that nobody realized until now that they had signed Samuel L. Jackson from “Unbreakable” to play baseball for them for 3 years.      

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 06.23.08 Around the World of Sports in 80 (or so) Sentences"

On the eve of the Dodgers winning three games in a row (Joe Torre: “We won a game today, if we win again tomorrow, that’s called a ‘winning streak’”) for the first time roughly a century, the great Jeff Passan over at Yahoo! Sports has his annual “All-Overpaid and Underpaid Team”. He is spot on with his selections that I can see, but this seriously should have been labeled “The Los Angeles Dodgers”. Out of every player in the league mind you, the Dodgers manage to crack this list a whopping 4 times out of an available 9 positions. Jeff is right by stating what the Dodger contracts lack in length, they make up for in girth (how many guys have actually tried to claim that, by the way?), and that in no way makes them better. The Dodgers have the enormous problem of overpaying for mediocrity, and a glimpse further on this list shows that the Dodgers already added, or tried to add (if you believe the rumors, and of course I do, for this argument) another 6 of these players. While Dodger stupidity with the pocketbook is nothing new, let’s look at these players and see why they aren’t Dodgers or won’t be for long. Since Jeff already astutely pointed out the flaws of Andruw Jones, Nomar, Kent, and Schmitt, I’ll avoid rehashing his points and add anything else I can to the conversation. 

Continue reading "IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 06.20.08: Dodger contracts and the Worst in Baseball"