IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY 07.07.08: FIRE NED COLLETTI

The C.C. Sabathia deal is dead. The proposed deal that would have seen the Dodgers send Matt Kemp, James Loney, Andy LaRoche, Andre Ethier, Chad Billingsley, Clayton Kershw, Vladamir Guerrero, the letter “L”’ from the Hollywood sign (the one on the left, not the one on the right), Kobe Bryant, and DJ Mbenga to the Indians for C.C. and Casey Blake is no more. The Brewers, in a possible drunken haze traded four minor leaguers (including the perpetually well traveled “player to be named later”) in what appears to be a great move for the Brew Crew. They have no interest in keeping C.C. outside of this year if it is going to cost them a lot (and it likely will) so they will be able to pick up a couple of draft picks from the next team that signs him, and get to use the skills of a man in a contract year who is trying to make a good impression on any team that’s courting him. Smart move by the Brewers that is pretty much win, win. The Indians got a good package, but one has to wonder what they could have fleeced from the Dodgers if their deal went through. My exaggeration from the top is probably not too far off.

So where does this leave the team that is two games under .500 and ½ of a game out on 1^st place? Pretty much in the exact same spot as they were when the season started. Since he missed out on C.C. (when the Dodgers clearly had more to offer than the Brewers) I think Ned Colletti is waiting to stand pat and see how this season plays out. I mean they’re only ½ of a game out of first place and the team seems to have started clicking with $70 million worth of ballplayers on the disabled list. Some minor tweaking here and there, and this team should be good to go right? Considering that with $70 million worth of players on the DL, they are nearly in first place, so there is no need to panic, right Ned? What do you mean we need a short stop? What do you mean you are willing to part with some of our high end prospects for said shortstop? Ok, well that’s understandable, I guess. Who are you looking at? Jhonny Peralta? Hanley Ramirez? Christian Guzman? Michael Young? No, none of those guys? Well who are you talking about? Jack…Wilson…?

That’s right, Ned Colletti (http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/27/270114.jpg), the mustached man who looks like the offspring of both Mario and Luigi, if Luigi developed a birth canal, a uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries (and based on Luigi’s place in the Mario videogame franchise, this assumption is not far off), has decided that what the Dodgers need is a 30 year old, weak hitting (career .270 batter) to handle the reins of the club until Furcal either returns, or walks after free agency. The worst part about it is that Ned is resigned to trade some of his everyday players for him (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080704&content_id=3063949&vkey=trade2008&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb&partnerId=rss_mlb). I know the prospect of getting a player who looks like a dirtier Adam Corolla may be too much to say no to, the Dodgers themselves need to take a stance, and tell the moustache, “NO.” at the thought of trading a couple twenty something players for Jack Wilson. MAYBE you can offer them Brian Falkenberg and Rafael Furcal’s back, but anythong more would be a travesty.

I am so sick of Dodger GMs doing nothing but screw up their good teams in the process of making little to no effect on the team itself. If they do trade for Jack Wilson, you better get Ian Snell and Jason Bay too, or Colletti should be forced to wrestle Jeff Kent’s moustache in the battle to the death. I also love how many sites are reporting that some of the players Colletti was going include in the Sabathia trade would need to be included in the Jack Wilson trade too, therefore we couldn’t get them both. Well great choice Ned, you mustached douche. Instead of pushing for the Ace pitcher that would anchor our staff for the next 7 years, you give up on that and go after a buck toothed shortstop that couldn’t power his way out of a leper colony.

The THOUGHT of this trade instantly leads me to start my march to fire Ned Colletti and replace him with someone with a better GM business acumen than he has, like Kim Ng or a bunch of flies on a rotten banana. Screw you Ned Colletti. You’ve made ONE good decision in your tenure (trading for Greg Maddox) and then immediately washed that away by not resigning him, and using that money to sign the worst free agent in franchise history, Andruw Jones (on a side note, I will not give him credit for the Takashi Saito signing because that is entirely to the credit of the overseas scouting staff). The biggest reason that he signed Andruw has more to do with Ned wanting someone the Dodgers who swings and misses more than he does, and who can be viewed as a bigger joke at his position than Colletti can.

FIRE NED COLLETTI