Mark Sweeney

I’ve suffered through the indignation if watching Andruw Jones strike out more times than the “Star Wars kid” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU) at Pure nightclub ( www.purethenightclub.com), and I resigned myself to the idea that he would rather pile ribs on home plate than swing a bat over it. I am completely comfortable with this idea. He’s earned every piece of hate that has rained upon his head. Then what does he do? He smokes a single to actually drive in a run! Miracles can happen! So of course, due to having the “attention span of a boiled potato”, myself as well as thousands of drunkards at Doyer Stadium told ourselves, “This is when he’ll break out of his zero for infinity slump”. Never mind that he looked just as terrible swinging at that slider as he has swinging at every other pitch this year (i.e. belly swings first and then the bat), and if that pitch was anywhere but accidentally right down the middle, his whiff would be at epic proportions to the likes of Casey ( http://ops.tamu.edu/x075bb/poems/casey.html). We had hopes. Andruw was up in the 9th inning. The Doyers down by one. Time for the slump to end. Here’s the pitch…High drive, deep to right field…Wait, I was watching Kirk Gibson’s homerun again. Of course Andruw struck out with a chance to do some damage, and of course the Doyers lost with a chance to tie Arizona for first place in what is the saddest race since Steven Hawking challenged Christopher Reeve to a 3 yard dash.

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bench also came up short once more, with Jason Repko failing to produce and still hitting .000 and Mark Sweeney failing to raise his average once again (it’s because he didn’t make an appearance, but still).

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And likely good news for Mark Sweeney, who continues to be the first pinch-hitter off the bench despite an atrocious .095 average. And good news for the Diamondbacks, Padres, Giants and Rockies

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Zero. Yes, I know it’s tough to believe, what with guys like Luis Maza, Angel Berroa and Mark Sweeney swinging the bat, but it’s true. You’d hope that for the money the Dodgers are paying they’d be able to buy at least a few hits, not to mention a run or two. On Saturday they couldn’t even buy a vowel.

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About the only good news for the Dodgers was that Mark Sweeney didn’t strike out again. He flew out to left field, so I guess it’s somewhat of an improvement. Then again, with his average dipping to .102, there’s a whole lotta room for improvement.

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